Family Life

          Our school board is saying that they will keep the program; it will just look different.  But can a students' everyday teachers and parents really teach teenagers all they need to know about sex and protection and STIs? Of course they can!  Parents and their teenage children already spend so much time together every single day, so they already have a bond established between them.  This bond would allow for discussions on topics such as sex and relationships to occur quite easily.  The teenager would feel at ease in this environment and so would the parent, naturally.  They could be open and honest with each other, and not have to worry about judgements being passed by a trained sex education professional.  After all, it is just their parents - no one close to the teenager or anything.  And parents and the average high school teacher are extremely knowledgeable on everything which the Family Life teacher, Brenda Kroschinsky, informs students of.  I don't see why her position wasn't eliminated sooner as a cost-saving mechanism to the school district; it's not as if others can't do the same job.  It truly is a great idea to not refill Mrs. Kroschinsky's position once she retires this year, as letting the duty fall to teachers will really benefit the students.  What student doesn't want their math or english teacher taking up valuable class time to educate students on puberty, sex and everything that comes with the subject?

Abandon

His mind darts back and forth like a startled fish.
His thoughts make a reckless, haphazard path;
retracing it is impossible.

Girls are on plodding horses,
passing stands piled high with pumpkins;
bands of dirt ring their bottoms.

He faces the sun,
but is overtaken by sudden guilt;
he left no message for his wife.

Grey stone gates enter to the world,
connected to stiff picket fences
bordering cracked sidewalks, ridged with stiff grass.

He has no destination,
but knows he must leave this suburban labyrinth;
he won't face recriminations as he will never return.

He slowly sinks into the ground
against the yellow, pockmarked brick;
Beside him is a suitcase.

Roller Coaster Adventure

            Have you ever been on a roller coaster?  The rise and fall of the tracks heaves your stomach contents back up, burning their way up until you suppress the feeling.  Have you ever swallowed lemon juice?  The overpowering tang consumes you, just as the dizziness devours you on a roller coaster.

            When little more than a tablespoon of lemon juice was poured into my polka dotted Dixie cup, I could already feel my stomach churning.  I was dreading taking my first sip of the repugnant liquid.

            As I reached for my sample of lemon juice, my fingers grasping the smooth, tiny cup, I peered at the fluid.  The off-white, cloudy yellow, reminded me of watery pina coladas.  I remembered splitting open fresh coconuts straight off their palm trees in Hawai’i and emptying them of their contents.  The coconut juice was cloudy and watery, resembling my lemon juice sample.

            I swirled my lemon juice around in its cup, prepping myself for the impending onslaught that my taste buds would have to endure in just a moment’s time.  I brought the cup to my nose, breathing in the odor of citrus.

            I dared a small sip, and my senses were immediately overrun.  The citrus made my eyes start to water; the sourness contorted my cheeks as my lips puckered.  I could feel a tear slither down my cheek as the war in my mouth persisted.

The lemon juice burned its way through my mouth, hitting every sensory receptor, like a bird hitting a just-polished window.

The sour did not dissipate.

I could almost hear the gears of the roller coaster grinding as I swish the juice around.  It chugs up the hill, gaining speed, ready to assault me again on the way down.  On the way down my throat.

I tried to swallow, but my gag reflex was nearly triggered.  I finally was able to force the lemon juice down my throat.  The liquid was a tiger kept in captivity too long; when it was finally released, it clawed its way around in rage.

I was in agony.

The lemon juice felt like Scar when he plotted to kill Mufasa and told Simba it was his fault when his father died.  The Scar-like lemon juice’s evil did not stop at my mouth, or even my throat, but continued all the way down into my stomach.

Like on the roller coaster, I could feel myself nearing the point of being ill as the juice tried to decide whether to come back up on its own accord or not.  Finally it chose to stay down.

The ride stopped and I rose out of my seat on the roller coaster as I rinsed my mouth out with cool water, ridding myself of the last remains of the repulsive lemon juice.

I was finally free.

Before I Attended University...

I believe that every person is born with talent, although some have the misfortune of possessing less than others.  Thankfully, I do not have that affliction.

            I have sailed the Seven Seas, swam the English Channel, and dove to the bottom of Marianas Trench.  Years ago, in my spare time, I climbed to the top of the highest mountain on earth and christened it Mount Everest.  On my way back down, I fashioned wings of tin foil and pipe cleaners to speed my return journey.

On Saturdays, I eat carrot sticks for lunch.  On Sundays, I build igloos for the homeless.  On Mondays, I reread all the books in the school library.

            I am strawberry blonde and ride a polar bear to school.  In my spare time, I train my pet beaver and prune my Maple tree.

            I never sleep.

            On Tuesdays, I drink tea with the Leprechaun as we discuss gold.  On Wednesdays, I watch the Lord of the Rings movies.  On Thursdays, I single-handedly win dodge ball tournaments against the greatest dodge ball players in the world.  I am the greatest dodge ball player in the world.

            Death fears me.

            I can bake chocolate chip cookies with my eyes closed.  On Fridays, I listen to the radio.  I have walked on water and invented sliced bread.
            I made a pot boil - by watching it!

            Michael Jordan emulates me.  Mr. Killick detests me.  Shania Twain adores me.

            I got my license.

            I shook hands with Martin Luther King Jr.  And wrote his speeches.

            I shook hands with J.K. Rowling.  And defeated Voldemort.

            My best friend is a wallaby.  I have jumped off the tower of the Eye of Sauron, and lived to later sprain my ankle whilst eating a lollipop.

            I paddled a boat up Niagara Falls.  I figured out how to stop Global Warming.  When I am bored, I run a hundred miles in my bare feet with the Tarahumara.  I invented sign language and tamed a shark, all while walking on a tightrope across the Grand Canyon.

            But I have yet to attend university.

Concerned Parent

Heather Cochrane
123 Main Street
Penticton, British Columbia,
V2A 3W1

March 8^th, 2012

Mr. Kleats
Central High School
123 Main Street,
Sportstown, British Columbia
V2A 1W3

Dear Mr. Kleats:

I am the mother of Paige Cochrane, who plays for your grade nine girls’ basketball team. I have attended a number of my daughter’s practices and games, and have been very impressed to see the girls practice so hard and work together so well as a team to come together and be very successful during games. I am very glad to have you coaching my daughter and many of her friends, even though it takes time out of your busy schedule. But there are just a few concerns some of the other parents and I have that I would like to bring to your attention.

I am aware of how difficult coaching a girls’ basketball team is, as I used to coach for many years back when my two eldest children were in high school, but I feel some aspects of your running of practices and games could be changed. I feel that there is too much emphasis placed on winning, for these girls are only in grade nine, and sports should still be about having fun, rather than primarily focused just on winning. On that note, some of the other parents have mentioned that they find you have a very stern voice whilst coaching our daughters, which we feel is unnecessary, and I ask if you would consider lowering your voice when coaching Paige.

I have heard you commend Paige on her outstanding skills and work ethic, and on multiple occasions she has been awarded the MVP after tournaments for her performance, and yet she does not receive a lot of playing time.  I would like to recommend equal playing time for these girls seeing as how they are still in grade nine and their league is not a very competitive one.

Paige has told me quite a number of times that you arrive after the girls have already started to warm-up and begin practicing, and then that for quite a while after, practices are often disorganized.  I, along with some of the other parents, have mulled this situation over, and we are willing to take turns to volunteer to help run the practices.  We would not take over all coaching duties, but we understand that you are very busy with other aspects of your life and that coaching is a big time commitment, and would like to make your job just slightly easier.  We are offering to arrive with our daughters slightly before practice is supposed to start, and help them warm-up, and get started with a few drills, to allow you a bit of extra time to get organized and plan drills for Paige and her teammates.

Thank you for your time in this matter, Mr. Kleats.  I await your response and look forward to possibly helping with your basketball team.

Sincerely,

            Heather Cochrane

Moral Dilemma

Heather Cochrane
242 Green Ave,
Penticton, B.C.
V2A 3W1

February 19^th, 2012

John Smith
Mayor
City Hall, 568 Main Street
Penticton, B.C.

Dear Mayor Smith,

            The information that you possess about Gunter Grass does not make me happy, and it must be quite overwhelming and a tiring burden for you to carry.  But I also feel it is quite the important matter and I am extremely glad you have taken the time to not only share this information with me, but also to ask for my opinion.

And I do have quite the opinion to share with you!  But, just to clarify a few things up first, I do not, in any way, support what the Nazis did during World War Two!  But, on that note, I feel it is important to look at not only Gunter Grass individually, but also at all the Nazi soldiers as a whole who served under Hitler’s command.

Most of the men commanding Nazi troops and the running of concentration camps were very young, and our own Gunter Grass was a mere nineteen-years-old when he became the commander of a Polish concentration camp in 1939.  It is inexcusable what the Nazis did, but to blame Gunter – who was barely more than a boy at the time – and to punish him now for crimes he committed sixty-seven years ago is also abominable.

Young German children were raised – and in a way, brainwashed – at the time and influenced by their families and their whole communities to believe that Jewish people were below them and that they were worthless.  These children and young adults didn’t know any better, as that was what they were taught and forced to think.  They didn’t know that, in other places, societies didn’t operate the same as their own.  It was unknown to them that there could even be another way of life, one where everyone was accepted, no matter their religion or ancestry.

Gunter, like many of the Nazis, was merely taking orders from the higher ranking officials during WWII.  He believed he was fighting for the betterment of his country, as that was what he learned through his childhood and young adulthood to do.  He was a young man, not yet out of his teenage years by today’s standards, who probably feared for his life if he disobeyed the Nazis.

Although I don’t condone what he did and what the Nazis did, since the war, Gunter has been a good man to our small community.  He was one of the best mayors for the thirty-six years which he served, and his donations to local charities and struggling families is admirable.  He’s given back to society, and maybe being a model citizen for nearly sixty-seven years is his way to try to make up for his sins that he committed during the six years of WWII.

I cannot believe that I am about to ask you to do this, Mayor Smith, but I feel that we should not expose Gunter’s secrets to the rest of our community and I am asking you to continue keeping this secret.

Although the deaths of millions is a black eye on Germany’s – and the world’s – history, the execution of Gunter at this late stage in his life would be a black eye on our own community.  Gunter is mere years away from death, and, maybe if his secret had been found out when he was middle aged, it has now been nearly seven decades since he committed those horrendous war crimes.  It is time to move along and prosecute current war criminals, not those who have lived out noble lives and tried to make up for their past sins.

And so, I feel that we should not reveal Gunter’s secrets, and, instead, let him live out his remaining years continuing to try to redeem himself.

Thank you, Mayor Smith, for your consideration in this matter concerning Gunter Grass and taking the time to reflect on my opinion.

            Sincerely,


            Heather Cochrane

Live and Learn

Slim and George sat down at the bar.  Slim put a hand on George’s shoulder and stated, “Like I said, George, sometimes a guy’s gotta.”

“He was dumber than a bag of hammers; he di’n’t know any better!” George whined, ignoring Slim.

“I know, man, life just ain’t fair,” Slim said, patting his companion on the back.

“I told Lennie not to say anything to Curley’s wife.  I told ’im, yes, that I told ’im, not to have anything to do with Curley or his wife.  I says to ’im to be as quiet as a mouse when either of them are around, but sometimes it’s like talking to a brick wall. He just don’t understand sometimes and his dumbness will get the better of him and he just can’t help himself!  It ain’t his fault, Slim!  I say, it just ain’t his fault!”

Slim’s hand fell to the counter as George took a long swig from his bottle, then rested his forehead on his hand.  Slim sat still without moving a muscle, just contemplating their situation.

“He was just scared out of his wits, is all.  He di’n’t mean any harm.  He likes to feel pretty things, soft things.” George sighed, rubbing his hands across his face.

Candy sidled up, settling down on a stool beside them at the bar.

“Now I ain’t gonna beat around the bush here, but that girl had it coming for her, always givin’ them young boys the eye an’ all.  She might’ve been a sight for sore eyes, but she was as slippery as an eel, ya hear me?” Candy told them.  “Now, George, you might feel like the whole world is against you, but trust me, sooner or later you’ll realize that every dog has his day, and, unfortunately, Lennie’s end just came sooner than others.”

“He di’n’t have a mean bone in his body, that Lennie di’n’t,” said Slim.  “But sometimes it’s only a matter of time before those without a care in the world finally fall prey to those who’re full of piss and vinegar.”

But George wasn’t listening to Slim and Candy, instead he muttered to himself under his breath, “He ain’t bright, but he’s a God damn good worker.  He ain’t bright, no, not bright at all.  He’s a God damn good worker though.  God damn good worker.  Told his Aunt Clara I’d look after ’im. But now look what he’s gone an’ done.  Gone and got ’imself into trouble and I had to pull the trigger.  God damn good worker he was.”